By Ishtar
Reviews
Jamie46 posted a comment on Sunday 20th November 2005 10:50pm
Ah! This'll teach me to get into a story before it's finished! :( grrr... now I wanna know what happens next! argh.... :( Sigh, classic "follow-along syndrome: reader's desire ahead of writer's ability".... :( dagnabit.
;) hehehe. But great. I do enjoy the few "Harry is raised by House Elves" stories that I have come across in the past. I'm looking forward to adding yours to my "repertoire"... ;) lol
(p.s. Damn that Lockhart. >:( egotistical arsehole... Way to go, Sirius, for catching him)
Astral Dee posted a comment on Sunday 20th November 2005 9:05pm
I liked the chapters that have been written so far, very much, especially Peter's characterisation as a spy. Although it struck me that Peter should have been the first one to be suspected as the traitor.
And Seamus is his nephew. That is a very strange plot twist but consistent with canon - his father is Muggle and his mother a witch. But it seems that he is very powerful, more so than Harry when he was younger - he turned every liquid in the house to milk!
The first impression of this Voldemort is scary aristocrat, but in later scenes, he seems to be arrogant - "greatest Dark Lord Britain has ever known". He seems to have descended into the classical Evil Overlord stereotype, not that it is a bad thing. He is still as evil as ever.
I almost felt sorry for Peter - almost - but really he should have gone to Albus. He was a Gryffindor after all. And how could he have believed anything the Dark Lord promised - not becoming a Death Eater and not harming the Potters.
The events of the Halloween night made me really sad - there was a lot of angst there. One thing that confused me though was why he still cut his finger. Okay, he thinks Harry is dead and Sirius knows that he was the secret keeper but he could have disappeared without a trace and they would have thought that Voldemort got the information by torture and Peter might have killed afterwards. Why leave evidence that Peter was at the house when the Potters were killed? In canon, he cuts his finger to leave a trace of him to make people think that Sirius had killed him. That's reasonable, because there were witnesses who thought he was killed. But why make the authorities suspicious by showing them he was in the house? Also, he leaves his mask there. Noone will find it but it seems clumsy since he is trying to make it look like he was killed.
This chapter had some action in it, which I liked. And Lockhart was putting an Obliviate on Neville! This might have happened in canon, hence Neville's magic impairment. Maybe he will get a dishonourable discharge from the Aurors?
I look forward to the next chapter.
Maxennce posted a comment on Sunday 20th November 2005 7:37pm
great story, really interesting, and am definitely hoping that you continue to update. Keep up the great work, really looking forward to your next chapter
Cheers
Max
brad posted a comment on Sunday 20th November 2005 12:14pm
Excellent chapter; very satisfying to read the backstory of Voldemort's first defeat fleshed out in such detail. Quite disturbing/moving your portrayl of Alice's torture. Hopefully Frank and Neville will be OK, if not Alice!
Anna1 posted a comment on Sunday 20th November 2005 6:44am
Wow, just wow - I'm so impressed!! This is VERY good so far, absolutely brilliant! Even without beta-reader the quality of your story is also very good. I only hope it will be continued after this strange whatever-thingy you're writing it for is over.
Characterisations in this story are absolutely brilliant, apart maybe from Sirius, whom I would expect to mourn much more violently than just go around saying: "Yep, they're dead." And I truly like how you picture the Order.
Anyway, you are trully great author - this is second story oh yours I've read and again I'm impressed:)
Gardengirl posted a comment on Sunday 20th November 2005 2:43am
Ab fab, Dorothy! This is fantastic. Keep it up! I love your Sirius, by the way, and the clever, insightful Lupin. It seems you are even doing justice by Snape, which delights me further. The description of the brothers Dumbledore duelling was delicious, and the stars flying off his robes a terrific touch. Cheers! Michelle
Crys posted a comment on Saturday 19th November 2005 4:15am
Interesting twist with what you're doing with Malfoy senior. Be interesting to see where that leads.
BTW, Aberforth brews butterbeer? Now where have I heard that before? *smirk*
Frank and Alice survived. Probably/maybe. Wonder if that will turn out better than in canon.
Sirius, of course.
For not using a beta, this is very clean. Kudos.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Christopher Estep posted a comment on Saturday 19th November 2005 12:08am
The Fidelius did NOT break; bent, yes, but *it didn't break*. Harry is saved by the Potter House Elves (and thus permanently escapes the Dursleys), Tom is *still* screwed (because his A-K still misfired; however THIS time, the reason is both Lily's love AND Peter's guilt). Because Peter did NOT go back to the Nibblers, Harry remains safe and hidden (amazingly enough, he also saves Sirius Black by fleeing now), and the changes from Potterverse Prime only increase from here.
Christopher Estep posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 11:54pm
A shocker in the extreme! None other than *Lucius Malfoy* defects, and all because of a Horrible Little List Of Doom that Bellatrix Lestrange had in her posession, which ended with MALFOY, DRACO. I wonder if, when this is all over, Lucius will tell Draco that he actually in a way owes his very life to Harry. The chances of Lucius remaining a Death Eater now are exactly *none*. Frank Longbottom was forced to watch Alice being tortured; no wonder he wanted to treat Rastaban's head like a soccer ball! Gilderoy Lockhart starts his Long Fall From Grace, and that is because Auror Black catches him about to Obliviate baby Neville. It is now known that Auror Black did NOT betray the Potters, so he does NOT wind up in Azkaban for either that OR the murder of the Muggles, so the differences between this and Potterverse Prime are multiplying like lemmings (Harry raised by house-elves, Sirius free and still an Auror, Lucius' defection, Neville NOT being Obliviated, Peter hiding among the Muggles in the US).
Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 8:48pm
Love the twists and departure from Cannon. Malfoy saving his own skin... not by claiming imperious but coming to the aid of the Order is far more believable. The Longbottoms... at least Frank were not tortured to insanity... though there will need to be healing there. Totally loved the part where Black caught Lockhart before he could obliviate Neville. And yay to you for keeping Sirius out of Azkaban as well as providing the crucial first step for snape and black to stop hating each other.
I totally love your premise and your writing is awesome... hurry and post more soon!
Zevrillion posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 6:33pm
Great story. Can't wait for more.
Arkeus posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 4:22pm
Very good. Much better than your other fics... i really like where you are taking us, and i do hope you are not going to have illeterateand submissive!harry....
IP82 posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 2:56pm
This chapter is truly great! It's nice to see someone do some actual research and thinking before he/she starts with writing. Keep going.
The Resident posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 2:36pm
Not sure where you are taking this, but it is an interesting ride so far.
xyvortex posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 12:03pm
Now THAT is how a NANO story should be written! Great AU and I love the originality of the plot.
I'm guessing that next chapter will be skipping through Harry's childhood, bringing him to his eleventh birthday before the end of the chapter... can't wait.
Will Harry learn house elf magic? They can apparate inside Hogwarts, and have powerful magic of their own...
update soon!
minervakitty posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 11:36am
Will they find out where Harry is? When will Peter contact his old friends and face his crimes? Is Harry going to learn English and his schooling? Will Harry be found?
neely61 posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 8:53am
Ok, I just found this story and love it so far. Gives an interesting insight into what might have happened all those years ago.
On a continuity note I did notice one glitch. The Dumbledore brothers robes.
"Albus and Aberforth Dumbledore both stood and Transfigured their robes into close fitting tunics and trousers like Sirius's"
Then at the Longbottoms:
"the Dumbledores spun as a unit with a nimbleness that belied their years, their robes blending into a confusing mixture of dark purple and turquoise with silver shooting stars. Some of the stars proceeded to shoot off Albus's robe entirely, "
They weren't wearing robes at this point were they?
Can't wait for more so stop feading your ego by reading reviews and get back at it!
Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 8:14am
what an awesome and intriguing set of circumstances you have crafted!!!
It all hold together logically, is totally consistent sith the canon universe - and utterly different in every important point. You have me hooked, give new meaning to bated (baited?)sic breath for the next update
Thanks and warm regards
Ken
Fasor posted a comment on Friday 18th November 2005 7:39am
I enjoy this Story very much. I look forward to seeing Harry growing up or grown up :)
Hope you will keep having fun writing it.
Cheers
Fasor
Euphemism posted a comment on Monday 28th November 2005 2:52pm