Eliew posted a comment on Saturday 5th November 2005 2:22pm

I like how you have make up the daily ongoings of the Marauders leading up to that fateful night, of how because they were all trying to help Remus, that they neglect the proud person himself. Of how Sirius, being ignorance of how the muggle world works, kept everything back until it's too late to be of use to Remus.

Nice background on how Peter became a traitor as well, before reading this, I often think it like most DEs, Peter would be the one to approach Tom, but in this case, you have shown him to simply take the easier path, as he have his own family's safety to put into consideration.

I like how even despite being under the Fidelius Charm, the Potters were being able to enjoy time with their son, and still have house elves serving them. But I have to ask, do you intend to explain why didn't the elves comes to the aids of their master when old Tommy boy comes visiting? If what Dobby have done to Lucius was any indiction, surely Tom will only be a little more difficult to deal with?

jmcqk6 posted a comment on Saturday 5th November 2005 6:41am

wow, this is looking to be a very good story! Are you trying to keep with the canon and just adjust the timeline so that is makes sense, or are you going to be making an AU? If you're just adjusting the timeline, is there really point to the story? I mean, I agree with you about the timeline, but if all that happens after this is a retelling of the books, I'm not going to read. In other words, I'm looking for a clarification of what your intentions are. The story doesn't have a description right now, so I'm a bit lost. And now I'm rambling.

Anyways, look forward to reading more. Hope you update soon. Good luck with your hundred thousand words!

siaru posted a comment on Friday 4th November 2005 4:50am

Good start. I'll be following this, thanks. I like the level of magical detail you're putting in here; where did you get the warding details? Never mind, don't take the time to answer that just yet, your novel has more importance.
The interactions and cameraderie between the Marauders-plus-two is believable, as is Remus's rationale for his spotty attendance.
Now we all get to wonder if Peter is pre-cracked, or if he broke under pressure. Or, since it's AU, maybe he won't break?

Snapesmistress005 posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 11:44pm

i like this start. i can't wait to see more. please let me know when you update!

Crys posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 11:11pm

So far, so good.

Nice touch on the silver knife. Just a little thing but also helps explain against using Remus if he ever asks.

Kat Armstrong posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 10:55pm

What you can manage speed-writing without a beta is infinitely better than anything I could ever dream of writing, slowly and with crutches to support me!

Best thing is not only is it brilliant, but it's NaNoWriMo, so loads of updates as well :-)

Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 9:55pm

Brilliant start, the meeting of the Marauders at the opening was quite funny. I rather liked the glimpse into Peter's mind about dead drops and such, it makes me curious about how things will shake loose from that point to bring about the fall of Voldemort.

Tanydwr posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 8:36pm

Great story. So is this a Ptter didn't betray the Potters fic?
Sounds good. A story about them under Fidelius. Cool! And I can see a non-traitor Peter being very leery about who he allows to know the location. He can tell Remus and Sirius, but they still won't technically know - they won't be able to tell anyone else. At least, that's my interpretation. They can say they've been with Lily and James, but they cannot say where - the address is gone. And Peter can so easily hide.
Keep up the exceptional work.
Lol, Tanydwr

Tish posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 6:45pm

This is how you write without a beta? I am jealous. I couldn't have guessed if you hadn't pointed it out!

So far, very good. Even if it's not the one I would have chosen, it is my second choice, so I'm not bitter, no siree. I'd never thought about the problems with the short pre PS timeline before, but I like what you've done here. Great funny touches, like the hammer. And I'm not getting "TRAITOR!!" vibes of Peter.

Ken posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 11:44am

I totally agree with your reasoning in the AN - it would make more sense for them to have a few years to develop.
some very nice plot lines starting here - thanks for taking part. I really have enjoyed the other works that you have posted, as well as your commentary on jeconais and Keith's yahoo groups.
Warmest regards
ken

Jennifer posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 11:44am

Wow! It's much better then I could have done, even with several Beta's. I particulary like the glimpse of how the "other" half lives through Remus. And The details of the actual Fidelius Charm were great. I wonder what happened to the rock they used as a place holder for the house?

Christopher Estep posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 11:17am

So Peter cast the spell, but apparently wanted no part of being the Secret Keeper (but got stuck with it anyway). Now I'm waiting for Chapter Two...

Greg Johnson posted a comment on Thursday 3rd November 2005 11:04am

Great Start! Can't wait to see the next installment. Keep up the good work.